I am in a frank kapra movie in reverse!

Its the one where you want to kill yourself @ the end! ( not that watching a normal frank kapra movie, wouldnt want you to do that, they are so fucking sickly nice!)

You would for slave wages, you take all the stress of the job on you head, when you get ill with the migrane attacks, and you are not earning them money, they come down on you like a sack of shit, wanting advising you it better not happen again, but can we do anything to help, big hint don’t heap the stress on me in the first place!

Not that this thought will come over to them, we are on a convayer belt of life, your born your useful for a couple of mins, then your fertliser!

Probably the most useful in your life is to be worm food.

I dont want to be down, all the time, but there are two kinds of people in the world, the winners of this world, and the losers!

I fall into the later camp.

I am not saying if you are a winner, your rich and sucsessfull, your most of the time not. What you are, is that you can see the people around you, you see their weakness and you pounce.

take my little brother for example, he sails through life, gets in to trouble for most of it, apple of my fathers eye, (mainly as i think he sees more of himself in him.)

My little brother has a tempestious relationship with my mother, calls her all the f*****G bitches under the sun, she on this gives just as good back, real heavy mental abuse on my brothers part. We finally get rid of him, and get peace and quiet in our lives then, he comes back with a sob story that his girlfriend has kicked him out and he is now living in a coalshed. Me the rational me, who has put up with these shouting matches from day one, voices the fact that he would not change, that one he gets his feet back under the table, it will be back to square one, no i was not listened to, as the poor baby, who could play auld nick at poker and come out winning, couldnt suffer!

6mths down the line the screaming match is back, he doenst contibute monies into the house, treats it like a five star hotel, and gang hut for him and his stonner mates, and i get her saying that it was a mistake to have him back.

That is how my little brother wins, he sees an advantage and holds an knife up to the throat, till he gets his way!

I will never be a winner, i always think the worst of myself, most of the time i am right too!

ho hum