Well what do you think of that?
I spent 1 week in a caravan, in the back of the beyond, with
my nephew, and my mother, and I survived, hurrah!
I think I am now ok on my own, Yes I love my family dearly,
but I find the quiet with my kindle and my art appealing.
I’m not a big telly watcher now, with the wonders of catch-up,
and TiVo I don’t need to sit through the rubbish anyway, I can pick and choose.
Am I a sociopath? I don’t think so, I have genuine love for
my family and friends, but at the same time, I am glad sometimes I can leave at
any time.
I have had a shit upbringing when it comes to family life, my
dad’s existence was the football match, drinks with his brothers every
Saturday, and his fags in that order. We came a long way down the list. MY
mother who I love deeply, regretted ever marring my father, and if was the
present day, would not have, and although I would not have existed, I sometimes
wish my mother had that choice, because she has had a sad life.
This has affected me in getting close to anyone, that and
the stupid MAIN ‘queerness’ that makes you weary of approaching anyone, that
and living as a gay person in Scotland in the 80s, where we are seen as aids
carriers, and the work of Satan!
Then you think about being alone, I live partly all my day
alone, and in my head, I created as a child a family, relationships for myself in
my head, then lost in my thoughts throughout the day.
I have now got the man flu, and my head is sore so I will
leave you for now,
Ta ta
