Hello, ladies hallo

Well what are we going to do now?

Life is shit, and then you die, then when your me, you die, and your re-animated and tortured some more then, you die, and so on…

Help was meant to come, in the force of new depression tablets, they are not working, i’m in a dark place, and don’t know where to go.

I have been off on the sick with stomach problems, mostly caused by the state of my mind, and the laugh a minute, cure get away from all stress, yes that will happen. The only way i will get peace is when i am worm food. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

Then in my life, I know I will be lonely, I have prepared myself for it. Why then am I looking for someone on shitty websites like Gaydar, which to me is a bush in the park that all the pervs hide behind all wanting a quick fumble. There is nobody looking for the long term relationship, and being a GAY, well, thats a joke in itself, a gay is all about LOOKS, and that is NOT what i was blessed with. I am not saying poor little me, I know I look like a dog, that has been dragged through the hedge backward, I am saying this if there was a higher being, I would be one of his little jokes.

Give me my books and my imagination anyday!

People can sometimes weird me out, I feel people are talking about me all the time, I know this is not alway the case, can’t help it though, stems also from my time at school, i would love to meet the person that said ‘school the best days of your life’ I would have put them through the mental torture of my time in my school, dicks, probably some american doc, usually this is where it happens.

I am mentally ill, I should realise this, It will not be ‘fixed’ but I want to cope with it, I want to just feel ‘normal’