hello me

Hello, I have noo been speaking to you for a while chinas,
whit do you want your no ma mother!

I’m joking, I hate you all really.

I am in the process of getting back to my book, so watch
this space, also I am going to be touring this lovely country of mine, well it
was either that or watching TV, I’ve got bored with TV, (who knew?)

I am also looking for a new we place at the sea, looking at
finding masel a rich husband who will take me away from all this!

I have been saying the same thing for the last five years.

Maybe should get off ma fat arse and do something about it,
stop feeling sorry for myself, and do something!

Anyway, looking to get my thoughts down a wee bit more regularly
no

Ahoy-hoy!

I have got the twitch back!

Well I was lost without it!

I have taken me to take a week off work to re-evaluate my
situation, I am getting to old to be listening to people shouting and screaming
at me, (and that’s just the managers!)

I need to start looking for something for me, something
that will keep me going for the next amount of years I have left in this psycho
world.

I am goin to buy myself a wee bed, I need to get one as
this current one is doin ma back.

I wanna get this before I have no money left.

anyhoo see you later.

well i went to edinburgh by train, and well it was one street filled with shops and thats it, such a let down.

i only went anyway to go on the choo choo, and that was done in the drank and dreary january.

i have not come amongst you for a while partly because i have be unwell again, partly because i had a very shitty time over christmas, that involves the arsehole that was my brother (now disowened, his choice, i beleve words like piss on and fire, came into the conversation.)

i am still a little down after that caper, and probably will take me a long while to get over it, or a rich hunk, who wants a mad scots, to marry and take me away from all this.

i have got to the stage that i dont care, people can throw shit at me i will never be treated like a second class person again,

got to stop typing now, need to get ma head down and get rid of this mad headache.

to-da-loo

Morning campers!

I have not been with you for a while, but I have been working like a navvy, who has just won first prize in a navvy contest!

Crimble has been coming up, towards us, oh hold my head up and jump for joy, at the mass consumption exercise, in lowering the amount in my bank account for another month.

One good thing, I am going to try the new train line up to Edinburgh, but knowing my luck on the route up, it will do what it done at the opening of the new Bathgate station, and breakdown for 2 hours.

I will take my laptop and entertain myself on the way up, going by the price it will cost me to do this, it will be the only way of entertaining me!

Again I have the builders in, (every time I write this, I feel I have made a double entandre!) but it is true I have the new boiler getting put in, as of the lovely budget cuts, thanks to the FUCKING bankers and lovely eco call me Dave, and nick (sell ma own granny tae get intie power,) clegg, we are getting 1 brand spanking radiator per household. Which we will be all hovering around this this winter, while the FUCKING bankers, (their new legal name, we own them after all!) burn huge wads of money, and the poor, to keep their, eco loftspace, next to the river, warm.

Now we wouldn’t want them dieing now a cold miserable death, now would we?

I will try and rant to you next month, probs on a broken down train, freezing to death. It will be like the film Alive!, only based on a commuter train!

Nighty!

Funny things happen to your mind, when you ane hanging over a sink bowl and yer arse over a toilet.

The one end of the brain wants to die, as you empty yer insides, the other part is thanking everyone, incliding armaitage shanks, (god bless!)

I have been tom and dick again, I must have the immune system, of an asmatic flea, someone just has to breath on me, and have cat flu!

I havenie been among you for a while, well what you gonna do shoot me!

I have been away to my we bolt hole, but had the parents with me, who make TV’s George and Mildred, look like coupe of the year, (my dad is resembling a taller, Brian Murphy, every day.)

I have been thankfully away from the horrible job, which I will now sweep the streets naked to get away from!

Back home now and bored oot ma mind!

Nightie!

I am gonna explode!

Well not literarily, no in a ‘scanners,’ heid explodes in a mess, kinda way!

Nope, more in a padded zip-up the back, getting locked in the rubber room, singing sea shanty’s, out yer mind in mescaline!

I need now to look for a change, as I cannot swallow kalms for the rest of my life.

I have decided also, it will need to be away from call centres, what I am used to, but it is not going to be easy. I am not expecting it to be!

I am violently going insane!

Has been long time coming, and we all know I have the zip up the back jacket with my name on it.

But I digress, I want another holibags, I am getting more and more fed up, and it is getting tiring.

I don’t want to be like that, I want to be happy and ‘gay’ (well you knew I would pile that one in!)

But I am no happy and get soo down some times, I wish some days I don’t wake at all.

But enough of me lamenting, maybe I will meet a tall rich hunky man who will take me away from all this, oh look those pesky flying pigs again! What a menace!